Sunday 11 August 2019

near imbolc

~ the time when all is grey and dark, glooming and desolate
and one can only search for little shards of greenery, of light and brightness, to hold a beacon of hope for the growth of all things to return, soon ~

( you are being watched  ~ you are the one watching) 

when everything is still wet and
moist
from the winter-time
and the coldness has entrenched
itself so deeply 
into your bones
that a spark in you longs
for the warmth
dreams
of the colour
returning
yearns
for the blooming
of the cherry-
blossom
just to reach a sense
of lightness
again
just to unearth
the hidden
warmth
your body so knows
and holds
and has long since forgotten
each ray of sun-
light
seeps into a pore 
of yours
lingering 
longingly
for more
until the cloud returns
teasing you
it is not spring-time yet
spring is a tease
with patience she will reveal
herself
to you
and you will enjoy each sliver
of pleasure
she provides
you will writhe with joy
as she 
strip-teases
off
her winter garb
slowly
you will ooze
with anticipation
let not your
desire
for her embrace
entrance you
for you are still in the time
of darkness
so be with it
be with the shadows 
be still
and still,
you linger there
still journeying 
through
the underworld
you have not come out yet
just wait
patience,
love,
spring is coming.






Saturday 19 August 2017

the dream

from "the dream that must be interpreted"
by rumi

...
"a man goes to sleep in the town
where he has always lived, and he dreams he's living
in another town.

in the dream, he doesn't remember
the town he's sleeping in his bed in. he believes
the reality of the dream town.

the world is that kind of sleep.

the dust of many crumbled cities
settles over us like a forgetful doze,
but we are older than those cities.

we began as a mineral. we emerged into plant life
and into the animal state, and then into being human.
and always we have forgotten our former states,
except in early spring when we slightly recall
being green again.

that's how a young person leans toward a teacher. that's how a baby
leans toward the breast, without knowing the secret
of its desire, yet turning instinctively.

humankind is being led along an evolving course,
through this migration of intelligence,
and though we seem to be sleeping,
there is an inner wakefulness
that directs the dream,

and that will eventually startle us back
to the truth of who we are. "

Saturday 5 August 2017

Printemps en France

I spent a spontaneous spring in France and a little bit of Belgium this year.
There was a somewhat karmic plane ticket that was purchased by my Dad as a throwaway from a flight to Greece last summer. I wasn't planning to go but at the last minute I felt the chaos of the universe moving through my body and before my body could catch up with the flow of life I found myself on a plane to Paris.
I must say it was spontaneous, and since it was so I was at a loss for where to stay in Paris. I ended up at the ISKCON temple in Sarcelles.
It was a riveting experience which I admit I am still processing
And I will just say that I wound up out of it grateful to be exactly who I am, and grateful for life, and my life. Grateful to be.
Apres ca, je suis visité ma tante Cecile et son partenaire Ray à Normandie, dans la paysage. Avec leurs deux chats.
Woven into a journey through the refugee camps in Calais, camps where I volunteered in a community kitchen, camps that were burned to ashes two weeks after I stepped foot in them.
Found sanctuary in friends and beautiful wooden apartments with square skylight windows and city gardens in Belgium.
Found cleansing and healing and discipline in a Sivananda ashram in the Loire valley, found sacred places with ancient ties to Jeanne D'arc in Orleans.
Through a journey south, into a healing sanctuary for lost damaged beings such as I who wish to put their hands into the earth and into contributing to something good and beautiful. Rana became a dear sister to me as I worked with her on her land where she is creating art and healing space and growing vegetables and herbs.
Deeper into the Pyrenees I traveled shortly to feel deeply the high altitude and fresh cool air. Blessed with a quiet home-stay in the high mountain ranges. Pulled in different directions I felt but settled and satisfied.
Then home pulled and was planned,
And back to my West Coast nest of trees and seas I find myself, trying to cultivate life and healthy routine once again. What a whirlwind.
Thank you life for all the blessings and lessons and twists and turns. I promise I will be good to you and give back.
thank you thank you thank you
(Some moments of this life, it becomes very apparent that life is actually a dream. this episode was a clear vision of that.)




Wednesday 2 August 2017

“To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.
–Wendell Berry

Wednesday 7 June 2017

winds

the winds have changed
a gust comes in
and the sky reveals
what was hidden.
head throbs.
heart pounds.
as the clouds roll over
a haze rolls in around my eyes.
suddenly i become numb
and full of pain
all at once.

open

i'd thought i'd open my heart
completely this time
to the gust of love
carried through the wind
through my body
i thought i'd rip apart
the chains
that keep me locked
down
only to love myself
and the holy earth.
i would have liked to offer
those chains
to earth herself,
to she who lies behind the vines
wrapped around my thighs
preventing me from flying.
"i am keeping you safe"
she whispers,
but will we not always be safe
when carried by love?
for then it is not only
earthly forces
that hold us,
but those, too, from above?
the angels say yes
the stars say of course
but to feel them with us
our faith must not waver -
a heart to heaven
is a brave one
and is never just one.

to have that faith
in another
heavenly body
a star,
that the fire between you
will light the way through the dark,
yet a fire always dims, never lasts.
even to hold torch to torch
for a moment
burns brighter
than not at all.

you know you can dive,
next time,
and you will be carried
by your wings.
we, above, will hold you.

"no one is around
but we will always love you."